This Thursday, December 5, 2019, will be one year since my love, Nate, left this world. (We have since learned it was related to his heart, if anyone was still curious). He was only 37 years old. He was not perfect, but he was truly perfect for me. He accepted me with all my faults and shortcomings. Even though we were both scared out of our minds to be parents, he was an incredible father to our daughter. He was someone I didn't expect to find in my life and I feel forever grateful that he taught me what it means to have true, unconditional love for someone outside your own flesh & blood. I will never be the same for having known him, or for having lost him.
Last year for Thanksgiving, we had gone to see my Dad and Dalrie in Utah. We explored Snow Canyon and had a marvelous feast. This year, Cailey and I stayed in town and celebrated with Nate's family. I tried to speak about him often and share stories about him. I can't just forget he existed, and I don't think his family would expect me to anyway. We spoke about him, his Grandma Eunice and his Uncle Bill... all of whom have passed in the last few years. And how much we still love and miss them all very much.
I am taking the day off work and taking Cailey out of school for the death-aversary on Thursday. I don't know what we'll do. Maybe get some Santiago's breakfast burritos and find a place to go bowling. He would have liked that.
Some things I want to express about what I have learned this last year:
1. I have some of the best friends, family and support systems anyone could ask for. So many people were there for me not only during the first few weeks, but throughout this entire year. Making a point to invite Cailey and me to events and reaching out to touch base just because they were thinking of us.
2. I am not as social of a creature as I thought I was. I am much more of a home-body and would like to veg in front of the TV all day long. I gotta get out of that habit.
3. Not everyone experiences grief in the same way or on the same timeline.
12/1/19
12/1/19
